Keep the people you spent years training.

This time, two years ago, I made an announcement that I was expecting my first child. As a self-described initiative taker and hard worker, I was nervous to tell my employer, not sure what response I would get — even though my job is “legally protected”. Nothing against my employer, but questions such as “Will they let me go”, “Will they provide top up”, and “Will my input still matter” crossed my mind. The answers I received were “No, don't worry”, “um no” and “it's debatable”.

A few months out from my official first day on leave, the preparations to go on leave were ad hoc, left to my own initiative, and whether or not my efforts were appreciated are still unknown to me. I provided as much information as I could to the employee who was covering for me, but we had many a laugh about receiving clarity and direction from the manager, or lack thereof I should say. Albeit, the handover occurred as best as we could manage ourselves, and I felt comfortable to focus on my next adventure.

90 days into being a new mother, the concept of time really went to my head. Is time moving too fast or too slow. It was difficult for me to remember what a solid 8-hour sleep felt like, but in general, being the mother to this new being in the world was one of the most miraculous and vulnerable times of my life. The thought of making sure I could continue to provide for him while raising him concerned me.

Now, I was lucky. The covering employee was an effective, hard worker. I think she did a better job at my job than me. But, considering this, I was getting concerned with ideas around whether or not I would still have a job upon returning to the company. Furthermore, with the fast-paced changing industry landscape, I was also nervous if the company would still be in existence when I returned. I did not have the capacity to apply, interview and secure another job during an exhausting period of my life, so I was just hoping it all worked out. Both circumstances didn't come to pass — the company is still active, and I got my job back — but at times, the added stress took away focus from spending intentional time with my son while on leave.

Now, some things that did happen while on leave in which I hoped I would have been made aware of included the following: changes to the org structure, uptick to the pace of the industry, introduction of new technologies, and additions to the product roadmap. I was left in the dark there. I would have appreciated feeling less like out of sight, out of mind. I was invited to one team day, just circumstances didn't allow me to make it work. If I were to get more information, it was left to me to reach out to the employer. They didn't reach out to me, which was fine, but made me question a lot.

Upon returning to work as usual, it's taken me quite a lot of time to settle in. First of all, my relationship with work is different: this is time away from my child — it has to be purposeful and meaningful enough to justify spending the effort, energy, and time at work over spending time with my child. Second, the income is much more significant because it determines the safety and security of our current lifestyle and how we can spend time together. Third, being a parent puts me in a position of (hopefully) inspiring my own kid to feel confident enough to go after their own dreams. Seeing a parent thriving allows a kid to see that thriving is possible.

With these three things in mind, I've needed to catch up fast on my own accord, I've had to settle for what is current and possible, and I've had to fully understand the reality of what being a working parent really means. You can have it all, but maybe not all at once.

My experience coming back hasn't felt the most supportive — in meetings and on a day-to-day, my input and execution of tasks can be overlooked and ignored. It would have been appreciated to have been kept in the loop, brought up to speed in a timely manner, included in discussions, and felt like I mattered. Now perhaps my experience is a one-off, but that hasn't been what I've gathered from my discussions with peers. Parents-to-be are optimistic, new parents are making it work, and working parents are exclaiming “it is what it is” — but I've been thinking, should it be what it is?

I don't suspect that people will stop having children. And when the children arrive, there is even more incentive for people to work — effectively, efficiently, and in supportive environments. This is where the concept around ReBoard was created. Let's get the folks who are now intimately aware of the nuances of wearing multiple hats, making quick decisions, and making the most out of the resources available back to work so they can focus on the task at hand appropriately.

Thanks for reading.